The Fear I Was Carrying in My Feet

My feet were stiff before I had run a single step. It was Monday 7 May 2018, the UK May Bank Holiday, and I was standing at the start of the Ted Pepper 10k race. I had been running in barefoot shoes for over six years by then, and my feet were usually the most relaxed part of me. That morning they felt stiff and achy, as if they were bracing for something.

Foot pain spiritual meaning: a runner standing on sand in blue minimalist toe shoes

Part of this race was through country trails. I was about 3 kilometres into the race when I stepped on a protruding rock with my right foot. The pain was immediate and intense, and I gasped in shock. Crippling pain shot up through the middle of the sole of my foot, and it felt serious. I slowed right down, but being the typical runner that I am, I continued to run even though I felt the pain in every step.

I used all the mental techniques that I have used in the past to deal with pain. I sent positive energy to my foot, I used positive affirmations, I stayed present with the pain, I explored the pain with my mind, I tried not to judge it. These techniques helped me get through and finish the race albeit very slowly.

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Dealing With The Pain

When I stopped running, I became more aware of the pain. It hurt to walk. At home I immediately sat down and meditated on the pain. I breathed into my foot and sent it love. It helped. After a week, I could walk on it without any pain at all.

So I decided to try running. The instant I began to run, I felt pain in my foot. Although it was getting better, my foot still wasn't healed. Running was the real test.

I began to wonder about my feet. What was wrong with my feet? Why did one of them get injured so easily? It just didn’t make sense to me. Running in barefoot shoes was not new to me. I had stepped on many, many protruding rocks before and never got injured so why now?

That is when I stopped looking only at my foot and started looking at what else was going on with me.

The Fear I Was Carrying

I sat quietly and began to search my mind for any negative thinking patterns that I may have had recently around running. I suddenly realized that over the past few months, I had been having a lot of fearful thoughts about running. Not about getting injured while running, but about runners’ trots. Back then, it was a serious problem for me.

Over time it had grown into a fear of not finding a toilet on my runs, and the fear had become obsessive. I often structured my running routes around the location of a public toilet. I would go to the bathroom numerous times before running and still worry about it. Even the night before, I would start obsessing about it.

I recognized that this fear caused so much tension in my feet that one of them could be easily injured by running over a rock. I still believe that.

Also, perhaps subconsciously, I wanted a break from the fear by having a break from running.

Foot Pain Spiritual Meaning: What Emotions Are Held In The Feet?

Many traditions give foot pain a spiritual meaning. From a chakra perspective, fear often shows up in the feet. I became aware of this as a Reiki practitioner. Our feet carry us and connect us to the ground. I believe that when we hold onto a strong fear, it can settle in the body and show up as pain. My feet had been tensing before the race even began.

This is my belief, not something science has proven. But there is research pointing in a similar direction. In a 2022 study published in PLOS ONE, Aimee Madsen and her colleagues followed 41 injured recreational runners through their recovery. The most anxious runners landed harder and took about three months longer to get back to running. The study doesn't show that fear causes injury. It does show that anxiety changes the way we run.

There is a physical side to this too. In a small 2009 study in The Journal of Physiological Sciences, a stressful mental task reduced blood flow to the skin of the feet, more than to the calf. Our feet feel our stress. Mine felt it that morning.

Quote card reading ‘Sometimes our feet carry what we’re afraid of too.’

Letting Go of Fear

Once I saw the fear for what it was, I could begin to let it go. When it came up, I stayed present, breathed, and trusted that if I needed a toilet, I would find one. A solution had always been provided for me before, so I will now trust that it will be the same in the future. I could not let this fear take away all the pleasure that running gives me.

Our minds are very powerful and creative. And just as positive thought patterns can create positive results, negative thought patterns such as fear can bring about results we do not want. A fear thought is always about the future. It is never about what is currently happening, which is why staying present is always helpful when dealing with fear.

The pain in my foot eased. One day short of three weeks after the race, I ran again without pain. I've never had a problem with my feet since, and I still run in barefoot shoes today.

If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. ~ Peace Pilgrim

A Small Foot Pain Practice

If you currently have foot pain or an injury, try this. Take your shoes off and stand still for a minute. Notice your feet. Are they soft and spread on the floor, or are they tense? Breathe slowly into your belly and allow your feet to soften. Then ask yourself, "What am I afraid of right now?" And then wait for the answer. It may come straight away, or it may come to you later.

If your pain doesn't ease, or you can't put your full weight on your foot, please have it looked at. Letting go of a fear and getting a proper check can go hand in hand.

Our feet carry us through every kilometre. Sometimes they carry what we're afraid of too. When we let ourselves put that fear down, our body is free to heal. You do not need to be a victim of your body.

Run easy,
Jackie

P.S. I write more about this injury in my book, The Peaceful Runner Method.